oh wednesday.

im laying on my bedroom floor listening to this and thinking through the things i will get done today.

-call Financial Aid

[ because making sure i have financial clearance for the fall semester is pretty important ]

-GAP

[ because im currently addicted. but dont worry its just a return, or maybe an exchange if im feeling fancy ]

-make a trip to shevlin to collect rocks

[ because i fell in love with shevlin park and want something other than mosquito bites as my souvenir ]

-get flight details

[ because i fly home in 9 days ]

-write BOTH congo stories

[ because its almost august and mission kids will need a new child profile ]

-go through my bookmarks menu

[ because i have way to many random things saved there]

-maybe a skype date with this guy

[ because its been a few days ]

also..

i cant decide if nine days feels like too short of a time or if it feels like forever.

on my heart.

"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."

Psalm 139:23-24

my mind and my heart are full. the reality is, i have a lot to process through and with that comes the tendency to become anxious. i trust my God, and these next two weeks are going to require intentional time of being still & getting on my knees to pray.

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers."

Galatians 6:9-10

verse 9 has been something i've meditated on and kept close to my heart since last fall. it was encouragement and motivation through a time where i felt overwhelmed and weary. even though this season im in now is entirely different, i can still find rest in the promise of this scripture. these last two weeks of my internship i am choosing to really dig into verse 10. i am surrounded by incredible people who belong to the family of believers and with my big summer project done, what an awesome opportunity i have to put this into action.

also...

this is what i got to do on 'option day'

sparks lake. bend, oregon.

a few thoughts

before i attempt to fall asleep.

one: my body apparently takes sleep for granted these days.

two: tomorrow i will be embarking on round two of what has now become an annual white water rafting trip

three: i serve a faithful God

four: i need to stop purchasing things at garage sales. no matter how lovely, vintage, or reasonable priced they are.

five: i really want to sew something

also..

this video brings the biggest smile to my face every time i watch it. actually, every time i even think about it. yep.

ten days later.

and ten days closer to being back in california.

i only have seventeen days left with the beautiful city of bend, oregon.

i have never experienced something that better epitomizes the word bittersweet.

i have fallen in love with bend: the people who know the true meaning of community, the church that has shown me what a functioning body of Christ looks like and inspired me to focus on and utilize my God given strengths to glorify my creator, and the incredible display of Gods creation that is everywhere. in my eyes, everything about this place is desirable. except, of course, for the fact that it is missing everything i love about california.

this may very well be the most difficult and trying change ive ever encountered in my twenty-one years of life. this is big and quite a large piece of my heart is here in bend, with these people, this church and this place. with the friends i've made, projects ive devoted myself to like [this], and adventures ive embarked on, how could i expect it to be any different.

i know the Lord has a plan for my life, and it is far greater than i could even hope or imagine for myself. im excited to see how things unfold over this next year or so. and in the mean time, i can't wait to get back to the things i love.

i am positively ecstatic to return home to:

a family who supports me

friends who encourage me

a incredibly handsome guy who has more than exceeded every one of my expectations

a school year full of unique ministry opportunities

living in an apartment with three lovely ladies

"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." Psalm 139:23-24

holiness.

we sing songs about holiness being what we long for and what we need.

but it is something we can and will never fully achieve.

even so we must live our life in pursuit of holiness.

its really hard for my mind to wrap around that.

And they were calling to one another:

"Holy, holy, holy is the LORD Almighty;

the whole earth is full of his glory."

isaiah 6:3

the word holy in this passage comes from the Greek word קָדוֹשׁ, which literally means pure or clean.

it is only by the grace of God that i will ever be viewed that way. but all i know is that i can strive for holiness, with the knowledge that i'll fall short, and simply take it day by day.

something i was challenged with this morning was the difference between kindness and goodness. at a glance, they seem synonymous, but when you dig deeper, you see that even though you need one to have the other, they are quite different.

"kindness is a sincere desire for the happiness of others; goodness is the activity calculated to advance that happiness...kindness is the inner disposition and goodness is kindness is action"

-jerry bridges the fruitful life

also...

i dont know what im going to do a month from now without these kiddos and their water fights, tray nights, dance moves, and just plain silliness.