the daunting inevitability that is: adulthood.

"When I grow up I would like to be a combination of Lucille Ball, Martha Stewart, and Elisabeth Elliot. "

Yep, thats what I Tumbled the other day, and I meant it! Growing up, I Love Lucy was always playing on the living room TV. Lucille Ball has impecable style and a sense humor to boot. I certainly find myself amidst some crazy antics at times, but none quite as clever or far fetched as Lucy's. Martha Stewart, some may knock her, but boy do I have respect for that woman. She is so insanely talented! I just want to soak up all of her knowledge about delicious cooking, sewing, crafting, fabulous party throwing, gardening, oh my! Now Elisabeth Elliot, besides having a fabulous name, is a true inspiration. She is without a doubt one of the most influential Christian woman of the century. After the brutal killing of her husband in the mission field, Elisabeth proceeded to live with and love the very tribe responsible for his death. Showing them the true, tangible love of Christ and sharing the gospel with them. Ah, chills. If you aren't familiar with her story, I challenge you to read more about it, you will not be disappointed.

As I get ready to finish out my college career and start life in a different state, away from the things that have been steadfast and familiar these past twenty-two years, a lot of poignant things have been on my heart. Most importantly, continuing to find my identity as a woman, and find it in Christ. I came across this saved on my computer yesterday (and I could just kick myself, but it's source is unfortunately unknown). It's a sort of 'do's and dont's' list for the new year or just life in general, and while it lacks the direct correlation to a life lived for Christ, it has a lot of very valid and useful tips.

Health:

1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
4. Live with the 3 E’s - Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy
5. Play more games.
6. Read more books than you did in 2010.
7. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
8. Sleep for 7 hours.
9. Take a 10-30 minutes walk daily. And while you walk, smile.

Personality:

1. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
2. Don’t have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
3. Don’t over do. Keep your limits.
4. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
5. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip.
6. Dream more while you are awake.
7. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
8. Forget issues of the past. Don’t remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
9. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don’t hate others.
10. Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.
11. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
12. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
13. Smile and laugh more.
14. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

Society:

1. Call your family often.
2. Each day give something good to others.
3. Forgive everyone for everything.
4. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
5. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
6. What other people think of you is none of your business.
7. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:

1. Do the right thing!
2. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
3. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
4. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
5. The best is yet to come.
6. Your inner most is always happy. So, be happy.

God is so faithful and I'm reminded of that by two verses in particular these days as one season is coming to a close and a new one is beginning.

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us"

Ephesians 3:20

"The heart of man plans his ways, but the Lord establishes his steps"

Proverbs 16:9

fearfully & wonderfully made

psalm 139 is an encouraging reminder of the Lord's greatest gift, allowing us to know Him. but still, he knows ME and he knows me because he has searched me. i was fearfully and wonderfully made, i cannot count the number of times i heard that growing up in church. and while i could never tire of being reminded of that beautiful truth, this morning i desired to dig deeper. what exactly does it mean to be fearfully and wonderfully made? it turns out that fearfully comes from the greek word yare' , a verb literally meaning, to cause astonishment and awe OR to inspire Godly fear or awe. We were made to bare the image of God, created to cause astonishment by our way of living and in turn inspire reverence toward our creator. but wonderfully didn't seem too difficult to comprehend. from simply reading the verse i assumed it to be synonymous with words like beautiful or flawless, but boy was i wrong. it has nothing to do with looks or our physical make up at all. rather, palah, the word originally used, means to be set apart or distinguished. verse 14 gained so much more depth and relevance for me this morning. being fearfully and wonderfully made has nothing to do with the fleeting condition of our physical bodies, but rather with the purpose we were created for. it matters not what we look like or what our current physical condition may be. for these things dont alter the ability to be an image barer of Christ and to ultimately carry out our purpose for being created and i thank God for that.

also...

psalm 139:23 is my constant prayer in times like these where my last year of college is already going by too fast and life as an adult approaches rather quickly. it is so bittersweet and my mind could be occupied for hours exploring possibilities. but instead of spending countless hours worrying, i can find rest in giving my anxious thoughts over to the Lord, trusting in His way above my own and confident that he knows me and in turn knows whats best.

september the first.

first day of the month.

first day of classes.

first day of my last year of college. holy moly that is unbelievable.

since august 9th i have been going, and going, and going and i'll be honest, im tired. i need rest, not just sleep or lack of busyness, but what i need is the peace that comes from knowing that my God is faithful and He is in control. im still incredibly encouraged by matthew 6:33-34. it serves as such a reassurance that God takes care of us. he knows my needs and he will meet them. not only does he want to meet them, but according to ephesians 20 he is able to give us "immeasurably more than ALL we could ask or imagine". this summer one of the biggest things i learned was how essential times of solitude were for me. in order to remain sane and to avoid trying to do things on my own, i must force myself to stop, be still, and keep quiet and listen. im actually quite good at listening when someone in sitting in front of me talking but im learning to tune my heart to the voice of my God and the leading of his holy spirit. in a lovely time of prayer and rejoicing with a few friends last week i was encouraged by a quote my sweet friend shared "the ear listens with curiosity but the heart listens with obedience" i am slowly but surely learning to listen with my heart. its tricky business.

even when im insanely exhausted, over sensitive, and borderline grumpy, i am amazed by the love i feel from those around me. i am so blessed by friends who encourage and show me the love of Christ through their words and actions alike.

also...

i dont think ive ever been happier. this handsome guy makes me smile this big quite often.

two weeks is the new two days.

i seem to have been neglecting to blog consistently lately. if im being honest, consistency isnt something that has been in my vocabulary at all since i've been back in california. instead the word has been replaced by others, such as, unpredictability, flexibility, and humility. it would only be appropriate to use crazy or tiring to appropriately sum up these past three weeks of being back on campus at CBU. still, the connotation of these words is of a surprisingly positive nature. my time so far is one of being stretched, taught, challenged and ultimately forced to draw near to my God. i have learned so much about love. loving when you're moving furniture in 106 degree heat, loving when you didn't get your ideal 8 hours of sleep the night prior, and still loving even when you cant find a seat in the caf because incoming freshmen have invaded campus. i have been so encouraged by those around me through their positivity, transparency & honesty, and affirming words. half of my residents have moved in and the remaining girls will be arriving tomorrow. im so looking forward to hearing each and every one of their unique and intricate stories, to hear about the journey the Lord has brought them through and getting to glimpse into where He is taking them. i find it such a privilege to be a part of these girls lives for the next nine months, to learn from them and with them.

the other morning i was able to have a delightful breakfast with two girls on my staff. i was so encouraged by our conversation about the word. a verse that is SO incredibly challenging in my walk is matthew 6:33, but somehow i forget the powerful verse that follows.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

matthew 6:34

also...

these are some pictures of my staff, up women 10-11. they are all such gorgeous women of God and i dearly love each and every one and appreciate greatly the ways that we are all so unique

on my heart.

"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."

Psalm 139:23-24

my mind and my heart are full. the reality is, i have a lot to process through and with that comes the tendency to become anxious. i trust my God, and these next two weeks are going to require intentional time of being still & getting on my knees to pray.

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers."

Galatians 6:9-10

verse 9 has been something i've meditated on and kept close to my heart since last fall. it was encouragement and motivation through a time where i felt overwhelmed and weary. even though this season im in now is entirely different, i can still find rest in the promise of this scripture. these last two weeks of my internship i am choosing to really dig into verse 10. i am surrounded by incredible people who belong to the family of believers and with my big summer project done, what an awesome opportunity i have to put this into action.

also...

this is what i got to do on 'option day'

sparks lake. bend, oregon.

ten days later.

and ten days closer to being back in california.

i only have seventeen days left with the beautiful city of bend, oregon.

i have never experienced something that better epitomizes the word bittersweet.

i have fallen in love with bend: the people who know the true meaning of community, the church that has shown me what a functioning body of Christ looks like and inspired me to focus on and utilize my God given strengths to glorify my creator, and the incredible display of Gods creation that is everywhere. in my eyes, everything about this place is desirable. except, of course, for the fact that it is missing everything i love about california.

this may very well be the most difficult and trying change ive ever encountered in my twenty-one years of life. this is big and quite a large piece of my heart is here in bend, with these people, this church and this place. with the friends i've made, projects ive devoted myself to like [this], and adventures ive embarked on, how could i expect it to be any different.

i know the Lord has a plan for my life, and it is far greater than i could even hope or imagine for myself. im excited to see how things unfold over this next year or so. and in the mean time, i can't wait to get back to the things i love.

i am positively ecstatic to return home to:

a family who supports me

friends who encourage me

a incredibly handsome guy who has more than exceeded every one of my expectations

a school year full of unique ministry opportunities

living in an apartment with three lovely ladies

"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." Psalm 139:23-24

holiness.

we sing songs about holiness being what we long for and what we need.

but it is something we can and will never fully achieve.

even so we must live our life in pursuit of holiness.

its really hard for my mind to wrap around that.

And they were calling to one another:

"Holy, holy, holy is the LORD Almighty;

the whole earth is full of his glory."

isaiah 6:3

the word holy in this passage comes from the Greek word קָדוֹשׁ, which literally means pure or clean.

it is only by the grace of God that i will ever be viewed that way. but all i know is that i can strive for holiness, with the knowledge that i'll fall short, and simply take it day by day.

something i was challenged with this morning was the difference between kindness and goodness. at a glance, they seem synonymous, but when you dig deeper, you see that even though you need one to have the other, they are quite different.

"kindness is a sincere desire for the happiness of others; goodness is the activity calculated to advance that happiness...kindness is the inner disposition and goodness is kindness is action"

-jerry bridges the fruitful life

also...

i dont know what im going to do a month from now without these kiddos and their water fights, tray nights, dance moves, and just plain silliness.

man, oh man.

things have been absolutely crazy. like the good, wonderful, beautiful, makes you want to dance, kind of crazy.

tomorrow is a semi free day, so fingers crossed, i'll be blogging about my first two weeks in lovely bend, oregon.

ive been so encouraged by every aspect of my surroundings these past two weeks, and i cant wait to share.

but for now here are some things i love most about downtown bend.

mc menamins

converted school house turned to a restaurant, pub, music venue, hotel, three dollar theater (complete with happy hour tots), and a turkish soaking pool.

thump coffee

who could pass up free wifi while sipping a spicy mayan gold mocha or tasty direct trade coffee, not me!

townshend's tea house

i love having a teapot of yummy chai on the table being warmed by a tea light underneath or grabbing a bubble tea, since they aren't easy to come by up here.

also...

ive decided to cleanse from social networking for a week. im not sure if blogging counts yet, we shall see.

meditating on ephesians 5:8-21.