well, well, well..

yep, its true.

how much, you ask..

more than this

which i happen to kind of adore

so there

today was just lovely, exactly as predicted.

also...

did i mention how incredibly blessed i am. im going to make a list in my new journal.

oh, and i leave for oregon in four days!

wanderings of the mind.

they're bound to happen when one is as tired as i am. nevertheless. here's what im thinkin

1. i still like the disney channel
2. ive been really brave today, i killed two yucky bugs and caught a lizard in my mom's bedroom
3. i wish i could successfully pull a tablecloth out from underneath a beautifully set table
4. i leave in four days for what has the potential for being one of the greatest adventures of my life
5. im glad i just had my favorite late night snack peanut butter captain crunch
6. i could reeeeaaaallly use a manicure
7. tomorrow is going to be a lovely day
8. i love continuing to learn about GRACE
9. im sore from running more that i have in quite some time, yessssss
10. i cant wait until my clothes are back from the dry cleaners
11. I GET TO SEE MY BROTHER for three whole days
12. im intimidated by the garage sale happening at my house this weekend
13. im thankful for my fathers indian heritage
14. i miss skype dates, like tonight.
15. i rely on the word of god, through all things

"Trust in the lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take."

proverbs 3:5-6

i love that trusting in the lord is all i have to do. thats all. granted, not an easy task, by any means, but in the past few weeks ive picked up this new tendency to over analyze. really, i mean reeeaaaaly, its not up to me, or my elaborate plans, or rationalizations. sure god has the ability to bless some half thought out mediocre plan, and work it together for good. but i dont want something that has to be worked together and turned into good, id rather have gods perfect will, please and thank you. so for the time being im going to stop worrying about the future so much and enjoy the awesome blessings before me right now. im happy, like REAL happy, and i can find rest in the fact that if i continue to seek his will in all i do, he will direct my ways.

also...

i wish i could go see two of my roommates who are in the same city as me at this very moment.

herbaceous peonies

i love my mom. as i've gotten older i've learned to truly appreciate our relationship, who she is as a woman, not just a mom, her love for the lord and the evidence of that in her life and interactions with others.

i promise we're serious sometimes. and she'd probably highly dislike these, but they are just the only pictures i have on my new computer.

she took off the week before i leave for oregon, so we can prepare for a giant garage sale. these past couple of mornings have been so nice, waking up and sitting next to her on the couch while i drink my coffee.

this morning we watched the martha stewart show and she did a whole segment on herbaceous peonies. surprise. who knew that my mom and i have the same favorite flower. adorable.

i mean, who wouldnt want to walk out into their backyard and see this

or eat breakfast with this on the kitchen table

or better yet, walk down the aisle carrying this

i really am such a sucker for fresh flowers. my, oh my.

on another note, choir tour was amazing. God never ceases to amaze me. he was so evident in the lives of the girls and those we came in contact with. he certainly taught me a lot about patience, leadership, and most of all love. i have every intention of blogging about one night in particular that blessed me. however, i have a busy twelve days ahead of me. i have so much to get done before i road trip up the california coast. ive been mia on here lately and now that its summer time [praise the lord] that means no homework, beautiful sunshine, and time to be a real blogger.

also...

im still loving my daily devotion book. im learning so much about god's grace, what it really is, how its evident in my life, and how to show it to others.

patience

1.

the quality of being patient, as the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like.

2.

an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay

3.

quiet, steady perseverance; even-tempered care; diligence:to work with patience.

patience is something i've been learning recently. im praying for patience almost constantly. ive heard it said before not to 'pray for patience' because God will teach it to you, and it wont be easy. let me tell you, its not, but it is quite humbling.

right now i am on a two week womens choir tour, which is the perfect place to learn a few lessons in patience. bring it on. its day three and already i feel tried and weary. im so glad that my God is faithful. that i can turn to his word and be encouraged. colossians 3:12 has been close to my heart this past school year and it is so prevalent when youre sleep deprived, hungry, and stuck on a bus with eighty girls. i can find rest in the promises in the word of God and the knowledge that his word never returns void. praise God for consistency somewhere amongst the craziness my life currently is.

music has always been such a huge part of my life. yet, these past couple days it has been so vital to my well being. whether im listening to brooke fraser on my ipod or worshiping with the girls in a concert, the lyrics somehow just minister to me tremendously more than usual. its as though everything im hearing or singing is from my own heart and experience, instead of just white noise to help me sleep on the bus or a performance for a audience of strangers.

i am so blessed to be a part of the trio that sings in the song your grace still amazes me. i have those words memorized like the back of my hand and the notes come out like my vocal cords have always sang them. but i've realized lately that even though i am performing, mostly im ministering, and not just to the audience, but to myself. singing those words is an act of worship, affirming one of the attributes of our God that makes me stand in amazement, his grace.

my faithful father, enduring friend, your tender mercy is like a river, with no end.

it overwhelms me, covers my sin, each time i come into your presence

i stand in wonder once again.

your grace still amazes me, your love, is still a mystery, each day, i fall on my knees

because your grace amazes me

oh patient savior, you make me whole, you are the author and the healer, of my soul

what can i give you, lord what can i say, i know there's no way to repay you

only to offer you my praise

your grace still amazes me, your love, is still a mystery, each day, i fall on my knees

because your grace amazes me

its deeper, its wider, its stronger, its higher, than anything my eyes can see